Innisfail native Carrie Esopenko was thrust into adulthood at four-years-old when her mother was killed in a car crash.
Karen Carr, a retired teacher, decided to take Esopenko under her wing through the Big Brothers and Big Sisters program 14 years ago. She helped the Esopenko family mourn their loss with bereavement support and created a “loving, safe relationship” with her after the “tragedy.”
“We were together for 14 years,” Carr explained. “We're the longest match in Innisfail.”
The Esopenko family was reminded about the support Carr provided when Esopenko addressed a crowd of more than 200 people during the Innisfail Big Brothers and Big Sisters centennial celebration at the Canadian Legion Branch #104 on Friday, Oct. 25.
“My mom was killed early in my life,” Esopenko said before the presentation. “It was just hard. My dad was a single parent and he had to raise a child on his own. Karen, my Big Sister, came in and took on a motherly role for me in a sense.”
The duo spent the evening reminiscing about their time together after being reunited for the first time in three years at the Golden Evening gala. Esopenko regaled Big Brothers and Big Sisters supporters with childhood memories that were riddled with lifelong lessons.
"I didn't talk to Karen much when I was a busy teenager but whenever anything important happened in my life, she was the first one through the door," Esopenko said with a look of nostalgia on her face. “Truthfully, the biggest thing I want to say about Big Brothers and Big Sisters is that I really got to be a kid in a circumstance where I wasn't really able to be a kid. They gave me a safe space and I had the support of an organization that I knew always had my back.
“A lot of my courage and bravery in life comes from this program.”
In addition, Carr remembered reaching out to Esopenko through her friends and family members. She treated her with kindness and helped Esopenko understand the physical and emotional effects of grief, while allowing her to learn valuable life lessons on her family farm.
“She had to fit in. It was a learning process for her and she just had to learn to fit in, and become part of us,” said Carr. “I don't feel I did anything extra special except bring her out there and let her run, and have fun and be loved. Her grandparents weren't around and so she got a taste of my in-laws, and the whole family unit.”
But the lessons the Carr family passed down went beyond grief management for Esopenko.
She said the Carr's taught her to cook, sew and live life as a self-proclaimed “faux farm girl.”
“She had a farm and I was a town girl. So I got to do everything farm-esque, whether it was scooping manure to being in the house learning to cook and sew,” explained Esopenko. “It was everything about being a kid. I was just able to go out and explore because she'd feed me and turn me loose to be a kid.”
Esopenko emphasized those facts during a colourful presentation filled with the ups and downs of her life including learning to smell the rain, dealing with falling down in the mud and watching as her now extended family members lost false teeth in their soup from time-to-time.
“She wasn't favoured if we were playing a game,” Carr said with a chuckle. “If she won, she won. If she lost, she lost. Those are the kind of lessons she learned in the family unit.”
Esopenko was conditioned to persevere at a young age.
“I know for a fact I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for Karen,” Esopenko said about her recent career success.
Esopenko is currently working on a post-doctoral fellowship at the Rotman Research Institute in Ontario. She now studies the long-term effects of concussions on professional athletes and eagerly awaits an opportunity to pay it forward.
“If anybody can volunteer, I highly recommend it because there's many kids that need help like I did,” she said. “I'm actually doing my fellowship in Toronto right now, and it's temporary, so I'm not willing to commit to a kid, and then leave. When I'm settled, I've made that commitment to myself that I will be involved in the program again.”
For more information about Innisfail's Big Brothers and Big Sisters, call 403-227-6766 or visit www.bigbrothersbigsisters.ca/innisfail.
