It was nearly 45 years ago when Susan Glasier, a young American woman travelling in post-war Algeria with her Muslim husband Moe and two children, found herself at a turning point.
It had been a day filled with high anxiety while driving through the blistering heat of the Algerian countryside. There were armed roadblocks, followed by a stop watched over by bandits. The children were crying. Tension had been building inside Glasier. The next day was no better. There was a nerve-racking visit to a public bathhouse followed by a long wait in a rat, roach, and ant-infested community hall filled with women and children with nothing to do other than attempting to find a shred of peace within the constant oppressive noise of shouts and screams.
It was a scene that led to the breaking point between her and Moe, a relationship that led to her decision to experience a North African culture far removed from growing up in the late '50s and early '60s in a strict confined upper-class military family back in America.
“I am devastated. I have no resources left,” wrote Glasier. “For the past three years, the image of a willow bending with the wind has been my mainstay, my line of defence when I was overwhelmed with sadness or anger, when I didn't understand the customs, when Moe demanded something that I didn't feel ready or capable of giving over to him. Today, for the first time, my willow has failed me – and I have failed everyone.”
To bend like the willow was Glasier's metaphor given by Moe for the strength required to endure the cultural and geographical hardships she faced in Algeria, a country he loved more than the adventurous but naïve young woman he married. Bending like a willow was something she had to learn, said her husband, or she would snap.
While the passage above was Glasier's “snap” in northern Africa, the willow would soon again rely on its saving bend. Yes, the Algerian experience claimed a victory of sorts over Glasier and her marriage to Moe was essentially over in 1967, but those six years, including the two spent in Algeria, gave her the strength to have a remarkable life, and to finally document the life-defining experience in her new and first book, Bend Like The Willow – A tale of an Arab Promise.
Glasier's life after Algeria included a more than 20-year residency in Olds, where she remarried, earned a master of education degree in educational administration, worked at Olds College as an instructor and curriculum developer, and even ran her own business for two years. After retiring in 2006 Glasier and her husband moved to Red Deer.
Retirement, however, gave her the chance to fulfill a need, to put on paper how the journey through her first marriage, particularly her attempt to brave the tumultuous lifestyle and events in northern Africa, shaped and prepared her for the later remarkable and ultimately successful life in Canada.
“I had carried all this stuff inside myself. It had affected me. It was part of me. It is a personal journey, and there are intimate details,” said Glasier, who over the years was asked many times by her children about her experience. “But I needed to put the story in context. I had to let it go.”
What was paramount for Glasier was to create a full story that had balance. Her written passage above comes from a chapter in her book called Roadblocks, More Roadblocks, Public Baths and Craziness. It suggests her time in Algeria was one of terror, boredom and led by a domineering and even abusive ex-husband. But she is quick to point out there were many wondrous moments of living during that period, including intense times of love between her and Moe, many days just gazing at the raw beauty of the land, experiencing Cleopatra's daughter's tomb in the mountains, connecting with some, certainly not all, of Moe's family members, experiencing the simplicity of the ancient culture and even marvelling at the native monkeys that came down the mountain to feed from generous patrons at a restaurant.
“This offered a challenge. I am grateful for it. I am blessed. It has been a wonderful journey,” said Glasier, who is also quick to point out her ex-husband was essentially a good man. “He was not a monster. He was an extraordinarily good man.”
Glasier briefly reconnected with Moe many years later at their daughter's wedding. She said it was like “two strangers” meeting. But there was no hostility or animosity. Moe died in 2000. Glasier continued her life that had extraordinary meaning in Central Alberta. A big part of her healing had already been completed. But more was needed, and the final touches came when she was able at last to put bending like the willow onto paper.
Today she is free.
“It laid to rest a lot of things. When the book came out there was a sense of freedom,” said Glasier. “I didn't have to carry this stuff anymore. I had done what I was supposed to do.”
For more information on Susan Glasier and her new book Bend Like the Willow, visit www.bendlikethewillow.ca
