When we get together as families on our special days, Thanksgiving, Christmas, anniversaries or birthdays, we don't consider that we are creating memories and traditions for the younger generation.
My family is fairly large and like so many we are scattered. It takes an invitation to assemble the group, larger all the time. When the folks were involved everyone came, to make a special event for their grandparents.
My dad passed away six years ago and mom is in a care facility, not recognizing any of us. For a while after dad's funeral, we drifted, from one season to the next without getting together. Last year a concerted effort brought us together for Thanksgiving, to meet once again in the church hall.
We have always gone with pot luck style, which produces an over-abundance of good, hearty dishes. We sat together to visit and to re-establish connections. We inquired of each of the younger ones how school was going, what subjects were their favorites, who their friends were, what special hopes they had for the future.
We used to make these connections with our nieces and nephews: now it is the next generation. Their talents are quite different. Two are artists, working mostly digitally. The little children who played with toys from the church nursery, sprawled on the carpet of the fellowship hall, are now the ones bragging with a new confidence, an acquired ability in operating a large quad in a magnificent mud hole without getting stuck. One was shyly introducing her boyfriend to her aunties.
What we weren't saying was how awkward we were feeling without mom and dad present; we felt diminished somehow. Our common thread was missing. I understand now how families lose touch.
Just weeks after that last family gathering, my sister was involved in a major car accident and suffered a serious back injury. Although she is doing well now, she survived but someone else did not. While we were so grateful that she was spared, we hurt for the other family.
I have always been thankful for my family but even more so now. We have walked on the long journey of our parents' failing health. We know the pain and fatigue of watching life drawing to a close.
Theirs was a history of life well-lived, life with few regrets. I often think of the ministry of giving I witnessed at home. My parents gave their funds, their home, their time and their prayers. They felt it their duty and privilege to give.
My siblings too have "caught" the attitude of giving. All have the tendency to be available, as a mentor, a co-worker, a good neighbor. We have learned that in today's world there is such opportunity to be a blessing. "It is more blessed to give than to receive."
"My family is fairly large and like so many we are scattered. It takes an invitation to assemble the group, larger all the time. "
