OLDS — During a Central Alberta Pregnancy Care Centre (CAPCC) fundraising banquet, two women shared how the centre has changed their lives for the better after they endured a lot of emotional pain.
The banquet was held March 23 at the Alumni Centre at the Olds College of Agriculture & Technology.
Ashley’s story
Ashley became extremely sad after having two miscarriages – a daughter and twin boys.
She and her husband had a small family but they wanted to expand it.
She tried hard to break out of the misery she felt, but continually felt shame and deep, emotional pain from comments she received from other people, even though many of those people were well-meaning.
“I still hated seeing other women pregnant or excited about their new babies. I fought tears every time I would see a baby,” Ashley said.
“My own losses made it so I could barely function. I stopped going to appointments I needed if anyone in the office got pregnant.
“I wasn’t able to celebrate with my friends and acquaintances. I was angry that others could have babies when I had lost mine.”
Ashley said at one point, the sadness was so great she was simply waiting to die.
The impetus to find a way out of that misery and depression came when a woman she cared about confided that she was extremely depressed and heartbroken after suffering a miscarriage.
“It broke me that she asked if she would ever be OK, because I didn’t have a good answer for her,” Ashley said.
“I was still hurting from having my own miscarriages, even though my last miscarriage happened six years earlier. I couldn’t tell her it would be OK. How could I lie to someone I love dearly?”
During a Bible study session, a CAPCC representative told the gathering that the pregnancy care centre can help people not only who are pregnant, but also those who are suffering after having had miscarriages.
About a year-and-a-half ago, Ashley decided to give the centre a try.
Not only did she receive help to cope with her sadness after the miscarriages, she also found the courage – and help – to deal with the fact she was sexually abused when she was a young girl.
“It has been life-changing for me, and I can now find joy once again,” Ashley said.
“My heart is not shattered into a million pieces anymore and my faith is stronger so I can live my life, rather than just waiting and hoping for death to find me.
“I’m excited to continue to learn about the process for healing the sexual abuse I experienced as well as the signs and how to protect others from falling victim to sexual abuse,” she added.
Sherry’s story
Sherry was born in Humboldt, Saskatchewan on June 9, 1978.
Her 16-year-old mother and 19-year-old father were persuaded to marry to avert the shame of a birth out of wedlock. But that marriage only lasted about a year.
Sherry and her mom moved to Calgary where her mom’s two sisters lived.
However, life was not great.
Her mother spent most of her time partying – doing drugs and drinking alcohol with a succession of addicted and often abusive boyfriends.
Sherry was often left alone to fend for herself, even at age four.
“I didn’t know that my home life was chaotic or broken. I didn’t understand,” Sherry said.
“I once took their vial of hash oil to daycare in my pocket, showing all my friends the treasure I had. The daycare worker found it and took it away. Needless to say, my mom was quick to deny it was hers.”
At one point, police came and took Sherry to a foster home.
But that was no better.
“I wish I could say the foster home was loving or amazing, but it wasn’t. They were child collectors and in it for the money," she said.
“They showed no passion or care and I often spent time in my room or in the backyard, as they didn’t want any of us foster kids around.”
An aunt and uncle rescued her from there and that was a loving, but relatively short-lived experience.
Eventually, Sherry ended up back with her mother and not long afterwards her little brother was born. At age 12, Sherry found herself being a combination babysitter and “second mom.”
By age 14, Sherry started following the example of her mother. She hung out with the wrong crowd and had a succession of abusive boyfriends.
At age 15, she got pregnant and was persuaded to have an abortion – a decision she always regretted.
“I wrote a letter to my unborn baby asking for forgiveness and I tucked it away inside my jewellery box. I felt so trapped in this decision,” she said.
Sherry became pregnant a couple of more times but decided to keep these children – a boy and a girl.
Eventually, Sherry decided to become a Christian and to change her life.
She finally met and married the right guy. Not long after, she became a nurse and they expanded their family, not only by having a child together but also adopting four more children.
A few years ago, Sherry learned of the Central Alberta Pregnancy Care Centre and became a volunteer there.
“I came to realize how much I had been coping through life under a shameful identity and that God wanted me to be set free from shame forever,” Sherry said.
“I now no longer live under the shadow of shame. I feel a sense of peace and freedom and joy.”
Her mother decided to join Alcoholics Anonymous.
“My mom has been clean and sober for nearly 30 years now and she also became a Christian, praise God,” she said.
