OLDS — I am writing this article because I am a parent of a child who took his own life. My name is Lisa Ormann.
My husband Todd and I lost our son Mitchell just over two years ago to suicide. He was only 22. We know firsthand why this conversation has to happen.
Mitchell was the valedictorian of his 2014 high school class and not only was he accomplished in academics, he was also accomplished in music, sports and was just a well-liked "good guy."
He is the perfect example of when you hear people say "he had everything going for him...Why?" Why would he take his life when he truly had everything?
Well it’s because Mitchell battled depression and more specifically, major depressive disorder; a very real medical illness.
He did not ask for it and he had no control over it. No one asks for any illness that they suffer from.
I am writing this today because we need to help end the stigma that the words mental illness has in society and we need to be comfortable in sharing our stories and reaching out for help.
My husband and I are doing what we can to support initiatives with mental health groups and suicide awareness and prevention groups.
We have spoken at a few mental health & wellness events, as well as participated in several suicide fundraisers, but the movement we are most proud of is the You Matter movement.
You Matter represents a rainbow of wellbeing. It connects with people of all ages.
The You Matter shirts were started by a couple of ladies at the Olds Elementary School where I work, to show their support for myself and my family when we lost Mitchell in September of 2018.
These shirts were born out of support and concern for us and our tragic loss. You Matter helps spark that conversation around mental health and suicide because of the heart with the semi-colon in the middle.
The semi-colon is significant to suicide prevention, as it represents continuance. You are the author of your life story and although there may be great struggles, there is more to your story to come. Everyone has a story that needs and deserves to be heard
My goal, as a grieving parent, is to make sure I share my story so other people know it’s OK to talk; it’s OK to reach out and not feel ashamed.
Too many people are afraid to admit a loved one died by suicide and it’s not until myself or my husband talk about our own loss that people open up and actually thank us for speaking so openly and honestly.
This is what we need to do more of. We need to “normalize” the conversation around mental health and suicide prevention in hopes that we can get more people, who are struggling to feel comfortable about reaching out and asking for help. No more hiding; no more shame.
I do not work in the professional field of mental health and wellness or suicide prevention, but I am a parent who knows firsthand the pain that comes from the loss of a child to suicide.
No one should ever have to know this kind of loss. This is why we need to recognize that we can't do it alone. We have to all work together in supporting one another.
Our path in life has changed and it will never be the same; forever broken hearts, but never broken spirits.
In order for us to keep moving forward we have to talk; we have to continue to share our story and we have to continue to share Mitchell’s story because his story deserves to be heard.
Please remember that what you see on the outside is not necessarily a reflection of what is happening on the inside of someone.
Please check in with family, friends and colleagues and ask if they are OK. Let them know you are there to listen or can help find the avenue that they may need in order to seek help.
In order to break down the stigma of suicide we have to stop blaming the person. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard ‘well Mitchell chose to end his life; he chose to not be here.’
People have such a hard time understanding a death by suicide compared to someone who dies by cancer or in a car accident.
This negative perception is what helps fuel the stigma and judgement around suicide and this needs to stop.
Yes, Mitchell died by his own hand, but he did not choose to have depression; he did not choose this path in life. Believe me, he would love to be here, living his life to the fullest.
So if I can make a difference in someone else's life, especially during our time of COVID, then Mitchell's death will not be for nothing. We have to strive for the good out of something tragic or as parents, we would not be able to move forward.
So I say to you...please reach out especially if you have emotions you aren’t sure manage. Never ever be ashamed. There are people who can help.
Let’s make a difference in each other’s lives. Each and everyone of us matters. You Matter...We ALL Matter! And as a community we can spark that conversation to take place, without judgement. We can make a difference to help end the stigma!
