OLDS — More than 80 people attended an annual conference on suicide and depression, held Feb. 20 at the Pomeroy Inn & Suites.
Four speakers addressed the crowd.
Keynote speaker Shirley Thiessen of Calgary-based CornerBend Ministries told her own story of grief over the accidental death of her son and gave the crowd tips on how to help others dealing with grief.
Those tips were to really listen to grievers, acknowledge and validate the loss the griever is feeling, pray for the griever and support them as long as it takes, knowing that could be for years.
Terry Hickok of Didsbury who suffered from anxiety and depression for decades – including an attempted suicide -- told the crowd how he came out the other side from those problems and now hopes to help others.
Olds resident Cindy Palin recounted her problems with depression sparked by the sexual assault of her daughter.
She also revealed that she herself had been sexually assaulted by an official in the church when she was young.
Mari Lee Ayers, a director of the Burden Bearers Counselling Centre, which operates in Sundre and Rocky Mountain House also addressed the crowd.
Like the other speakers, she offered to make herself available to anyone in the audience who needs help.
Melony Cormack of Sundre performed several songs regarding hope, loss and life’s struggles.
Suicide survivor
Hickok reprised the story he told the conference last year, that while growing up on a farm in the Peace country, he suffered with anxiety, depression and bullying.
It got so bad that he tried committing suicide.
It was a long, hard struggle to overcome his issues, but eventually, with help from doctors that included electroshock therapy, he did get better.
Now he wants to help others who suffer from those same issues.
“(I want to) let people know who are struggling and hurting, that there is help and there's hope. And that is my passion,” Hickok said.
He said he’d hoped after speaking at the conference last year that he could get a support group going, but that’s proven to be a longer process than he thought.
“I did get to work with people one-on-one, with a few individuals, but the support group hasn't really happened yet,” he said.
Hickok was advised that it’s better that time be taken to set the group up right.
“It's slowly growing, I think, to something,” he said.
Battle of the mind
Palin said her talk was about “the battle of the mind.”
She said supportive passages and psalms from the Bible gradually helped her deal with the depression she and other members of her family went through after her daughter revealed that she had been sexually assaulted “by a trusted individual.”
Palin said that made her “angry at God.”
“How could God allow this to happen to our daughter and to our family,” she asked, adding she was also angry with herself and her husband.
“Why couldn't we protect our child? We should have seen it coming, if only we could have been better parents.”
Palin also revealed that as an early teen, she had been “groomed” by a “sexual predator” in the church she had attended, but she told no one “about his plans.”
“I left the church confused, feeling lost and alone,” she said.
Palin said the passages from the Bible also helped her when she worked recently at Mountain View Hospice Society with people receiving end-of-life care.
Several times during her talk, Palin referred to being horizontal or vertical.
“When you're depressed, you don't have any strength. You have no energy to do the work that is necessary,” she said.
“Crisis training went out the window, and I felt trapped in this jar as I lay in bed suffering from depression, a frightening new feeling of hysteria washed over me, and all I could think of was, how am I going to get out of here?”
“Anger is a very real part of grief,” Palin said. “May I just clarify, not all grief turns into depression, but it is common.”
“Healing from depression is just the same as any other illness. Your energy will be extremely limited.
It will take a different amount of time for each of us to feel well again. There will be times that you will be triggered and feel as though you're back to square one,” he warned.
“If you need medication, you need medication.”
Help for those who need it
Ayers offered her assistance if anyone in the crowd needs to talk to someone about what they’re going through, noting she helped a woman during one of the previous Conversation Has To Happen events.
Ayers said she even helped a woman who texted her early in the morning saying she was having a very hard time wanted to die.
“I phoned her, and we spent two and a half hours on the phone,” Ayers said, noting that people in her workplace as well as police and hospital employees were also very helpful.
“She's still struggling, but we're working that (out) together. Please know you don't have to do this alone. We're all here to help you,” Ayers said.
We’re all loved
Dennis Thompson, chair of the organizing committee for the Conversation Has to Happen, served as MC for the event.
“There’s not one person on this planet that isn’t important and that doesn’t deserve to be loved and cared for,” Thompson said.
“And we want this conversation to carry on. It’s important,” he added.
“Just in the last three or four weeks, I’ve heard of five people that have attempted or taken their life,” he added with great emotion.
“You can tell with that it really affects me. It’s one of the reasons I’m here today.”
