Theft Solved
I woke up last week on Monday to discover a serious theft of my families and neighbors belongings. Upon looking at my land it was was discovered that the pore spaces were missing. Now it’s true that at this moment we weren't using them and at this moment did not have any plans for them however good manners says you still cant take them. The people that took these pore spaces must of had a problem with their upbringing. Any good Albertan knows you don't touch somebody else's stuff. Upon further investigation it was discovered it was my own darn Provincial Government that had stolen them. When investigated by myself and neighbors in Eckville at a public meeting two local boys were discovered to be involved. The first, Luke, said yeah he believed the theft was legal and had participated in it because some older boys Ed and Ted told him it was a good thing and stuff people weren't using belonged to them. The second local boy Ty said he didn't believe it was right and said it wasn't but he went along with it anyway (at first I was going to cut him some slack but then I realized he was still driving the getaway car even though he didn't do the actual theft). Now I know these local boys and they aren't all bad, just easily led so maybe let them off with an election and tell them to go stand in the corner. However those older boys are habitual. Ed has been caught tinkering with oil leases and even hospitals and his sidekick Ted is a fellow from Casper Wyoming that some how slipped passed Fort McLeod. He believes the government is above the law. I was told he is a professor so he should know better. I then discovered it is a BA in Political Science; an oxymoron if I ever heard one so I guess it doesn't count. These two should be punished; taking something without permission is theft. Now Ted the expat knows that in his home country he could never get away with this. John Denver (yes the singer) became extremely wealthy by buying gas storage space (yes in between the particles) and renting it back to oil companies and the US government. Now I know Ed and Ted said they just wanted to store CO2 in our unused spaces but it is a well known fact you cant dump garbage on somebody’s empty lot without notice and negotiation. Make no mistake you would go to jail for that. I would think Ted being a professor would know that. I know if I dumped sewage on Ed’s farm he wouldn't invite me in for a beer so these two are guilty and definitely should be punished. Maybe no votes at all.
By now you have figured out this is a spoof and I have taken comedic license with our politicians, but the way they voted is true. The PC government has helped itself to the pore spaces under your ground. Thanks to a bill they passed, Bill 24, they have helped themselves to the gas storage rights under your land. This where they are going to do CO2 sequestration (and anything else they want). This isn't about CO2 sequestration right or wrong. This is about a government so arrogant they would take stuff without asking. Even “dare I speak his name in case he may appear” P.E.T. would not try this on Alberta hallowed soil. The pore spaces are the gaps between the earth and rock. They say we aren't using them but last time I checked the carrots in my garden grew between the particles of dirt. The point is these people took things without your permission. Then they took away your right to take them to court. Please forgive me for making light of a very serious issue and Google this bill. A lawyer named Keith Wilson has an excellent explanation. Stay tuned next week in your local paper when I explain the Magna Carta in Albertanese. Hey this could be Ed and Ted’s punishment.
Trying to keep a grip on Alberta
Rod English
