Over the course of the year we don’t seem to have the impetus to get together as much anymore. When dad was alive and mom was more like herself, we spent many enjoyable events together, often at the church hall. We would plan a potluck lunch; we assigned the desired menu items to each participant.
One of us living locally made the turkey and the stuffing. It made sense of course. It is challenging to drive any distance for a gathering and still serve the special meal hot and appetizing.
We tried ham and scalloped potatoes on occasion but that didn’t suit some palates. Turkey seems to be acceptable multi-generationally, a favourite by default.
Some of us crave potatoes and gravy. Some tolerate turnips. Most eat green salads although dad referred to salad as rabbit food, with a slight contempt in his voice. He also had to have bread or his meal was incomplete.
We gathered for celebrations: anniversaries, birthdays, early Christmas or Easter. Snapshots taken show various family groups, visiting, watching young children at play, cousins holding each other's babies and Mom and Dad encircled by their family. We listened, hugged and talked.
One picture shows Connie and me clutching our coffees and catching up on the news. Another has Dave carving the turkey, Warren scrubbing pots. Another has a gaggle of guys clustered around the coffee urn, talking with much waving of arms and laughter. One special picture has Carol in a theatrical pose with Peter, both with fists raised in mock challenge.
A few pictures show dad with an arm around one of his kids, although he wasn’t often demonstrative. In most of the shots of Mom, she’s cuddling with a great-grandchild, bright with laughter.
We loved to hear dad’s stories and hear mom’s giggles. How sweet it was to watch their tall and broad grandsons wrap their arms around the two of them, secure in their love and acceptance. These were once the lanky youngsters who, all awkward limbs and big feet, occasionally received correction by a strict grandfather. His direction was received with a sigh but usually compliance. Now they model his work ethic, believing in a job well done.
When we do get together I see their strong parenting, their love of their own children and how with open arms they gather in the cousins and friends in the group. I see the respect they have for each other and the gentle way they treat their elders. They have learned from example to care for others.
Why do we get together? Why wouldn’t we? We enjoy each other's company. We have common interests and we want to continue the ties that we have known from our roots.
- Joyce Hoey is a longtime Gazette columnist
