The chatter in our staff room sometimes ends with the teasing words “you’re such a princess.” What was being referenced was the tendency to want the best for ourselves without having to put out any effort. That is a common trait today. The “me first” generation expects the best, always first place and a wealth of praise and accolades without the understanding that these things are earned.
That is such a drastic contrast to previous decades. I sometimes think about the folks who were the adults when I was a young child. My parents’ generation were hard workers, like honey bees. They pursued a common goal, to provide for their family and keep the home fires burning. They had a vision to do their best. They were up early to begin again day after day.
There were people in our community who always seemed to flourish. There were those who never managed to get ahead despite their best efforts. There were also those who didn’t even try. Our interactions with people often colours our perception of the world around us. We may follow in the pattern we know because we admire our peers or perhaps we don’t and so insist on leading a different path.
I heard a speaker talking about his great relationship with his deceased grandfather, a minister. His father, John, also a pastor, was silent for a few moments and then soberly shared the family history. He had been an excellent athlete, achieving great things in football. His father never took the time to encourage his son John. His achievements and awards were deemed unimportant and merely a sideline issue. He never had time to instruct, praise or mentor his own family.
The grandson thought on this and then thanked his dad. John never passed on the stern, uncaring attitude. He was at every practice, as well as all the games. Whenever his son stepped out onto the field he knew his dad would be there. John kept in mind the Scripture “fathers, do not embitter your children or else they will become discouraged.”
I often hear another preacher who in his later years heads a large compassionate organization. He raises funds to drill clean water wells, set up malnutrition clinics to feed the starving in drought stricken and war-torn areas and to provide medical assistance.
He related his own beginnings, the result of a brutal rape. He knew poverty up close. He spent a few years in the home of a pastor who gave him the wealth of love and teaching that caused him to grow beyond his origins.
There is no doubt that my parents were burdened by the weight of their hard circumstances. Day-to-day life was mundane and a hard grind. Their determination to start each day anew with hope carried them forward. There were no princesses in our house. They showed us how to stick to a task until it was complete. They taught us to try a different approach if something wasn’t working. Never give up and in all things pray.
– Joyce Hoey is a longtime Gazette columnist
