To meet Shawn Bernard is to see someone completely likeable and so certain of himself.
The 41-year-old First Nations man is friendly with a captivating smile, the sort of person that instantly draws people. And why not? Bernard has every appearance of being successful. He is an award-winning musician and hip-hop performer. He is also a respected outreach worker in northern Alberta who is helping and guiding First Nations youth every day.
But there was a time, not too long ago, when the opposite was true.
Bernard was in hell, and making sure he could drag everyone around him to it. From growing up on the mean streets of Edmonton, he graduated to being known as one of the meanest and most dangerous drug and gang leaders in Edmonton's aboriginal community. His life was one of crime, violence and despair. Shootings, stabbings, beatings in his life were constant. He only knew the vicious cycle of drugs, violence and jails, a sordid lifestyle that claimed his beloved sister, and destroyed many more family members and friends.
ìThe more money I was making, the more drugs I was selling and the more people I was poisoning,î said Bernard of how the only thing he once had to share was misery.
But when he found a higher power, his Creator, his life began to finally see the right choices.
At last Bernard had real power and it's this message he brought to town on Feb. 13. It was another opportunity to show that a good, decent life is possible no matter what the past was. He delivered a 90-minute presentation about the horrors of his past life and his ultimate transformation before a packed audience of more than 700 students and staff at Innisfail Middle School (IMS).
ìLana Kennedy, our family school wellness worker, has been heavily involved trying to create more knowledge around First Nations citizens and bring about some of that awareness about resilience to our kids,î said Jay Steeves, IMS principal. ìAnd when you get an opportunity like this to bring in a great guest speaker, someone who shakes up the room a little bit and comes with a great story, it is just so much more influential and the knowledge really soaks in that way.î
Although there were technical problems trying to show Walking Alone, the National Film Board of Canada's film on Bernard's life, he still did not lose a beat. His story on the streets, a living hell, captivated most of his audience. Bernard, who has spoken to scores of audiences over the past decade, now believes it is a mission he simply cannot afford not to do. After all, he is a believer of the old recovery adage that he can't keep what he has unless he gives it away.
ìI always feel there is a reason why I have been asked, and that things happen for a reason,î said Bernard. ìI believe in a Creator guiding me and whenever I get an email from somebody asking me ñ maybe a student on what I have to say, the reward afterwards is when I see some kids are listening to me and maybe getting something out of it.
ìNo, I never, ever planned on any of this. It just happened one day when somebody asked me if I would be willing to come because of my awareness of gangs,î he added. ìOne of my friends asked me if I would be willing to share my life story, and I did. From there, people just asked me more and more.î
His message has had such an enormously powerful impact over the years that a song and video called Strong are now part of the school curriculum throughout the Northwest Territories.
Music and performing are now permanently etched in his once tortured soul. Known in the hip-hop world by his stage name Feenix ñ after the mythical Phoenix that rose from the ashes -- Bernard is about to release a new CD called Living Like Stars. He will be submitting it to the upcoming Aboriginal People's Choice Music Awards in Winnipeg.
And that excites him, almost as much as seeing a light go on in the eyes of a troubled youth whose life path was one of destruction until hearing the story of Shawn Bernard.
ìSometimes it is discouraging. There are some kids that don't want to listen. I was a kid once too and thought I knew it all, and I didn't want to listen to anybody,î said Bernard. ìWhen I perform, when I rap, and when I hear the crowd scream, that is when I get a real rush. That is the whole reason why I fell in love with music in the first place, and why I wanted to change my life.î
